Staying Grounded During Challenging Times

A warm hello,

Simultaneously, as we adapt, adjust and accept a spousal loss, there are many challenges and changes women face especially during our current challenging times.

I've been speaking with and coaching women who all are facing many changes during these times. Whether a woman is single, divorced, widowed, a career women, a business owner or a stay at home mom, it is certain she is adapting to some sort of change in her life. Perhaps you, as a widow, are facing changes and challenges not only with the loss of your husband (and all that entails), but in other areas as well.

Perhaps you are in the midst of raising small children, teenagers or adapting to foreclosures in your neighborhood. Perhaps you are juggling a career that makes additional demands of your time. Perhaps you have an abundance of new financial wealth or a loss of wealth. Perhaps you strive to make ends meet in today's challenging times. Perhaps you've lost a job or just started a new one. Perhaps you have moved and are starting over in a new geographical location or are adjusting to and re-creating a new life where you currently live. The list of changes and potential challenges does go on and on.

But wait, along with all the changes and challenges, what are the potential rewards?

What are the new opportunities and new experiences that are presented?

How do we stay grounded during challenging times?

How do we learn to stop, decompress, check in with ourselves on what is most important?

How do we want to spend our precious time?

How can we best take care of ourselves and those we most care about?

Finally, how do we stop fear or overwhelm from taking over and gain clarity, focus and inspiration to take bold steps forward?

Tips:

1. First breathe. Yes, breathe. Breathe it in and breathe it out. Have you ever caught yourself with shallow breath or even holding your breath? Take some deep breaths.

2. Exercise some self-care. Get enough sleep, eat healthy and get some exercise. Do something for yourself that brings you joy. Make some gesture in giving back to others. When you give you can receive so much in return.

3. Surround yourself with people who support you and will tell you the truth. Find mentors.

4. Take some quiet time to reflect on your life and your work. Take the wheel of life free assessment on http://www.coachingforwidows.com/. There is a personal wheel and a professional wheel. Complete both if appropriate. This assessment will begin to provide greater clarity for you on what is most important, what is working and what is not. It will help you begin to determine gaps, strategies and action steps for moving forward especially during these challenging times.

5. Once you've determined some strategies and action steps...take action. Thinking about it will not make any change or improvement, taking appropriate action will. If you need help, find others that have the skills and knowledge you need or want and ask for their guidance. Carpe Diem. Seize the Day. Make it Great!

6. Do not forget about engaging in some leisure time. You know, truly non-productive relaxation. Too often women can try to fill time with busy work, always moving and always doing. Some leisure time is important to find a balance that helps you stay grounded.

Here's to you,

Colleen

Colleen Phillips, Professional Coach, CPCC,ACC

For coaching and widow resources visit http://www.coachingforwidows.com/

Time Out &Tune In

A warm hello,

As widows, we all share one commonality, the loss of our husbands to death, which by most standards, is one of the most traumatic events to occur in a lifetime. We also share a journey of re-discovery that includes many downs, ups, curves, bumps and vista's along the road. It is along this journey, where we all cry, learn, laugh, love and do much to figure it all out once again.

It has been almost 5 years now since Rory died, "how long has it been for you"? Along these years I've worked a great deal to re-discover myself and along the way follow my passion for coaching.

I coach business leaders and executives and enjoy it very much. It is rewarding. Also, I have a very deep passion for coaching women, especially widows. I feel such a pull or tug of my heart to support this group of amazing women who've also walked this walk. I've thought for quite some time that coaching widows was something I was meant to do. I changed my life and ended my previous long term career to do just that.

As a coach I work with my widow clients to put the pieces back together again. It is a joy to be in coaching relationships that support, acknowledge and challenge clients. Along the way, I learn more about myself and my journey.

Recently, I've been stuck. Don't we all feel stuck at one time or another. For me, I've been stuck with updating (or not updating) my http://www.coachingforwidows.com/ website. Stuck with writing (or not writing) this blog, as I've not posted since late February. Lately, I've been focusing on my corporate work and clients. AND, I've fallen in love with a brilliant, loving man and have been immersed in all that entails (this blog entry photo is from a recent event). Temporarily, and for some reason, it has made it more difficult to tap into the widow part of me, the part of me that I called upon to write these blogs etc. I have been on one of the beautiful vista's of the journey feeling so happy and fulfilled again for so many reasons. Isn't this what we all hope for and work for during the journey (to find our passions, learn, grow, laugh, love and be fulfilled)?

Hmm...So why would this happiness and fulfillment make it difficult for me to write? What was preventing me from taking action? I've been giving this a great deal of thought and introspection.

One of the coaching exercises I do with clients is the wheel of life. We look at the 8 major components of life (money, health, significant other, career, physical environment, friends/family, spirituality, personal development) We rank our level of satisfaction in each area. Until now, the significant other component has been very low personally (due to the circumstances). I've realized until now, I've been resistant to be in a true loving relationship. I've not been ready and now I am after much work on me. I've become crystal clear about what qualities and values must be present in a new relationship. The time is right.

Here is a statistic I ran across lately and it caused me to take action and dive back into my passion for supporting and coaching widows. Did you know that nearly 700,000 women lose their husbands each year and will be widows for an average of 14 years"? This is according to the the U.S. Bureau of the Census. This is a great number of women who, along with each of us, will have to learn how to put the pieces back together again.

My vision is to be a great coaching partner with women and widows during their personal journey of re-discovery.

Coach Corner:

Being ready is key. We must know and understand ourselves fully.

What are you learning from your past relationships and experiences? What support and help are you actively pursuing to re-discover you?

Remember, it doesn't matter how fast you go, as long as you are going in the right direction.

Warmly,

Colleen
Visit http://www.coachingforwidows.com/ for coaching, support and resources.

Colleen Phillips, CPCC, ACC