New Year

Coaching For Widows & Phillips Coaching would like to wish you a safe & Happy New Year! As one year ends and another begins, take the time to reflect on the past, look forward to the future, and enjoy the presence of the people who add meaning to each moment of everyday!

Warmly,

Colleen
http://www.coachingforwidows.com/

http://www.phillipscoaching.com/

Single Parenting

A warm hello,

Are you a single parent? Recently, I've received emails and calls from women who are widowed single parents. They've stated they are (at times) struggling and are feeling stuck in general. In addition, I've spoken with others that are divorced single parents and they too are having their challenges as well. Bottom line, the underlying theme is how much each woman loves their children and how much each woman wants to find their own best way to raise them. As the holiday season is upon us, it can raise issues and questions.

So, what will make 2009 a banner year for you as a woman and as a mother?

In my coaching practice I work with women (widowed, divorced and some married as well) and in each case we work together to craft strategies and plans to achieve what each client wants most. I remember, when I was first a coaching client, I worked to clearly identify what I most wanted for my son and my role as mom. I created strategies and plans, took action (lots of action) and saw amazing progress along the way. Ask yourself what is important. What you want to start, stop and continue. This is a big deal!

Here are some things I learned:

1. Be consistent (this is huge!)

2. Be there, really be present. When I am with my son, I always block out special time for "play".

3. Get down to their eye level when communicating something of great importance.

4. Listen. Watch. Pay attention. Build on their strengths. (Really) Acknowledge their accomplishments and quickly redirect behavior as appropriate.

5. Get enough sleep. Early on after my husband passed away, I was sleep deprived and it made it very difficult.

6. Get some advice from experts. (books, websites, friends, family)

7. If your child is young, have visuals. (to do's, responsibilities, rewards etc.--make visuals together so they are part of the process and are engaged)

My son is 7 and is out of school today through Jan 6th. At 9:30am this morning he was already saying he was bored and wanted to play with some friends. Oh, that reminds me, I must plan more playdates for him and "play time" for him and me. It is good for him and good for me, otherwise it will be a long holiday break. Juggling it all, and you know what I mean, can be a bit much at times, but with setting a good stage, crafting a good plan and following through on those actions, it will make for a happy mom, happy child and happy holiday season.

Happy Holidays to all!

Warmly,

Colleen

http://www.coachingforwidows.com/

7 1/2 Highly Effective Habits for 2009

A warm hello,

11 months have passed since last New Year's Eve. Perhaps much has happened this year, perhaps not. If 2008 was the year your husband passed you were more than likely just trying to put one foot in front of the other. If 2008 was year two, that generally brings in more than expected. Year 2 can feel harder in some ways and at the same time you are taking bolder steps towards recreating your life and making changes that suit. If you are in year 3 and beyond, you are hopefully well on your way to putting all the pieces back together. Whatever the case, how would you assess your 2008? How would you like to make 2009 the year you lived "on purpose"? You'll be amazed at how much control you have of your life, which naturally allows you to accomplish ANYTHING to which you set your mind.

With 2008 ending in just a few weeks, now is the perfect opportunity to develop visions (supported by personally crafted 7 1/2 highly effective habits) for how you want your life to be in 2009. During the past year, I have seen people achieve amazing things by simply committing to making it happen. My clients can testify they started out their coaching program with some doubt their visions would become a reality, but four months later they saw vision after vision come true and by the end of the program they were amazed at how much they had accomplished in such period of time.

It breaks my heart when I meet women and especially widows who have been feeling stuck and unfocused for a long period of time. (I met a women the other day who has been feeling this way for 10 years since her husband passed!) So, as you prepare for 2009, I encourage you to take an hour out of your day to develop visions for how you want your life to be next year. Once you do that, create some strategies (habits) and a plan to get there. If you need help and guidance, reach out for help. I am offering a 20 minute complimentary strategy session to support you in getting started and becoming more focused. Visit http://www.coachingforwidows.com/ to register for a complimentary strategy session. Also, I've been getting many requests from women to support them with crafting their resumes, improving their interviewing skills and professional skills. With over 21 years of professional experience I can lend support to you in this arena as well. Many women are wanting to find a job, change jobs or careers or get promoted to a higher level. What visions do you have for 2009? Let's get started.

Here's to you.

Warmly,

Colleen

Requested Holiday Advice

A warm hello,

I received an email today from someone I follow on "twitter". http://www.twitter.com/ (a social networking site) and she requested holiday advice as she is feeling the challenge of being alone during the holidays. How many of you can relate to the challenge of being alone during the holidays?

Recently, I struggled with the alone thing as I tried to put up our outdoor Christmas lights (I did the best I could). It will be a more environmentally friendly Christmas this year as I could only do so much; so we will do a good thing for our planet. It can also be somewhat sad as couple friends go to parties, and couples and families do all the holiday planning and celebrating together. It is always important to remember that I (we) are not alone...we may have children, parents and family/friends.

Here are some pieces of advice from my personal experiences as coach, mom and widow.

1. Give yourself a break. Be kind to yourself. Take some "me" time. Today I took some me time that was very much needed and stole some time at the beach. (yes it is December but living in SW Florida it is one of the perks!). What can you do for you? Nurture yourself. If you don't give to yourself, it makes it hard over time to do your best and give to others. If you like to travel, plan a trip (it can be some place close or far away.) The picture above is of Venice, Italy. Italy will be my next European trip.

2. Open yourself up to attending parties or get togethers. Invite friends over. Call people and reconnect. Ask some friends to go out for lunch/dinner or a coffee. If you enjoy the company of others, find those that make you laugh, listen well and care about you and you care about.

3. On the flip side, take in some quiet time. Read a book, or watch a holiday classic that makes you feel good or evokes some emotion that would be healthy for you to experience. Sometimes even a good cry is good.

4. Keep it simple. Find ways to simplify. Make lists. Set some boundaries on what you want to do and can do. This year, I am simplifying more than ever.

5. Exercise, get enough sleep and eat healthy. (well with the holiday's that may be challenging, just do what you can, splurge a bit...and be kind to yourself)

6. If you are thinking about dating, jump in when you are ready. Remember a date is not marriage and can be fun. Actually, it is a mindset of dating vs. a relationship. Start there and have some healthy fun. There are many avenues to explore as there are church groups for singles, speed dating, on line dating sites and of course you can always meet a special someone in the book or grocery store.

7. There are times when looking at old photo albums, watching old home movies, reading cards from my husband help. Well, it hurts and it helps. The other day I was organizing the garage and I have a big box full of cards etc. I read some cards my husband had given me. I cried, I laughed, and I cried some more. All of it was good, even the tears. It is a physical reminder of what we shared and the love we had for one another. If you are in a very emotional state, this is one activity you may want to do at another time.

8. If you have children...enjoy the season with them. Experience the joy of the season through their eyes. Make it special for them and for you, but where you can, remember to keep it simple especially if you are in "overwhelm"

9. If you are spiritual or religious, take in rituals that feed the soul.

10. Smile. Laugh. I know sometimes it can be hard, but it is contagious. It is proven to make you feel better. Go ahead. Smile. Laugh. Are you doing it? Do it again and again.

Happy Holidays.

Warmly,

Colleen

www.CoachingForWidows.com

Customer Service-Customer Intelligence

A warm hello,

I am going to put it right out there...I am pretty cranked up and frustrated about something. When I got home last night, I checked the mail and there was another mailing addressed to my deceased husband. Now, it has been 4 and 1/2 years since he's passed, all the announcements went out as appropriate, post office notified, every piece of mail that has had his name on it, I've physically written "deceased, please remove from mailing list." Now, I am going to hunt down a leader in this particular organization (that is sending this direct marketing letter) and educate them, let them know the negative impact it is having on me and direct them to stop sending him mail.

In today's world, where service is becoming more and more obsolete and the need for greater customer service and customer experience more important than ever (as customers become more price conscious), why would companies not take the time to take important customer information or customer intelligence, update their records and find a way to recover from their mishaps? It is interesting, this particular piece of mail (that I've received with my husbands name on several times) is regarding children's life insurance. As you may have read on previous blogs, I am a big proponent of life insurance (especially after what I've experienced) and have taken it to heart to ensure my son will be provided for if anything were to happen to me. Now, I may have seriously considered this children's life insurance offer, but why would I entertain conducting business with any company that cannot take the necessary steps to recover after a customer mishap. Mistakes happen, no problem and they can be fixed. Mistakes that happen, and are not fixed, a big problem. Companies and businesses lose. What companies and businesses today want to lose customers and potential sales? Obviously, there are quite a few. hmmm...how much better our economy could be if more attention was paid to us the customer?

Yesterday, I attended a phenomenal seminar with John DiJulius of the DiJulius Group. http://www.thedijuliusgroup.com/. The seminar was entitled "What's the Secret to Providing a World Class Customer Experience". John has written two best selling books on customer service, and he is passionate about this topic. In my life and career, providing an extraordinary service experience for my co-workers, team, customers and clients has always been top of mind. So, as I continue to do my best to provide service it is also important to speak up when I don't and educate companies when they've made a mistake. It is perhaps the only way they'll have an opportunity to "do right".

So, if you are in business and service is important to you and your company, I recommend visiting the http://www.thedijuliusgroup.com/ for some great resources that may assist and support you. If you are a consumer/customer and get great service--woohoo--celebrate and thank them. If you get poor service, or you too find yourself still getting mail with your husband's name on it and it bothers you at all, let them know. I'm surprised it has taken me this long to pick up the phone. Going to the seminar yesterday, just put me back in touch with--it just isn't okay any more to accept these kind of mistakes especially when I've made attempts to give them the customer information and intelligence to fix it.

Well, I've got a phone call to make. Wish me luck!

Warmly,

Colleen

Anniversary, holidays & Carpe Diem

A warm hello,

Pictured above is our Christmas tree my son and I put up and decorated yesterday. It is always one of my favorite activities of the year. I love the ritual and a blend of the old and the new. Over the last 4 years, while decorating our trees, I did find myself sad at times even though I loved it. It was so hard to see the ornaments, and to miss my husband all the more. This year was easier, and part of that is the time that has passed, the personal growth and development I've undertaken and the wonderful coaching clients I have the honor of working with, supporting and learning from as well.

My son was so engaged in the process and was hands on decorating (until of course his attention span dwindled) and I was left finishing up. (that is a 7 year old for you!) We had so much fun unwrapping and he had his favorites, knew which ones were his daddy's, which were mine, which were our families. He loved looking at his baby pictures in some of the ornaments and he remembered some great memories. This was another great opportunity to continue linking the new with the old and sharing stories of dad and creating new memories as well. All in all it was great!

A few days ago (On Thanksgiving Day actually) it was the 4 1/2 year anniversary of Rory's passing. In some ways it seems like a lifetime ago and in others, very recent. He is in my heart and it feels good to have him there as I continue to Embrace Life now and going forward.

This weekend, my dad who is now 73 years old was helping me take down the Christmas boxes (lights, ornaments, decorations) from my attic. He fell off a high ladder while helping me. Thankfully he is okay. My heart was in my throat when he fell and I was so worried about his well being and health. He will not be getting on any ladder on my watch again.

My dad falling, again reinforced to me how important "Carpe Diem" (seize the day) is. This time of year is great for reflection and it is also a time to "Carpe Diem". I cannot take for granted anything and have great opportunity to ensure I seize the day with those I love.

Coach Corner:
What does "Carpe Diem" mean to you? How and in what ways could you seize the day?




Here's to you.

Warmly,
Colleen

Holiday Support

A warm Hello,



With Thanksgiving just a few days away, I want to take a few moments and provide a few links that may benefit by providing additional support during this holiday season. If you are a newer widow these may help.

www.forwidowsonly.com/Holidaysandwidows.htm
www.healthadel.com/a-widows-guide-to-surviving-the-holidays

As I get ready for Thanksgiving I am thinking about all I have to be grateful and thankful for. Although each of us as widows have lost greatly, there are so many people and things to be thankful for. For me, it helps to pay attention to what I have versus focusing on what I have lost. My late husband will always be with me in my heart no matter what.

My thanks and gratitude top ten:
1. My son and his health
2. My health, energy and continuing to improve personal fitness level
3. My family (who have stood by me in good and difficult times)
4. My friends (who continuously provide me with love and laughter) Some of which are in the picture above at a recent Bus/Vikings football game.
5. My clients (who I value and learn from every day)
6. The companies I have been fortunate to work with. (The Ken Blanchard Companies, LensCrafters/Luxottica Retail)
7. The opportunity to write for a local magazine and work one on one with my trainer.
8. Where I live (beautiful Florida)
9. The opportunity to give back to the community and help others (when you give you get much more in return)
10. The opportunity to strike out on my own, start a business and live my dream.
Bonus: Being ready to date again and open to new relationships.

Coach Corner:
What can support you this holiday season? Take care of you and find something, some group, some friends, perhaps visit the links above, create your top 10 list etc.

Happy Thanksgiving to you.

Warmly,
Colleen

85 degrees and yes Thanksgiving is next week--What?

A warm hello,

Has this year gone by quickly for you? Depending on your life and circumstances, your answer may be similar or very different from mine. For me, this year has literally flown by and I am almost taken by surprise that the holidays are just around the corner. Living in Florida now (where it was 85 degrees Fahrenheit a few days ago) it seems still so strange to not have cold weather as the holidays approach.

For widows and others, the holidays can often trigger emotions which can include stress, indecisiveness and depending on where you are on your journey, yes even joy and happiness. One of my clients is at somewhat of a crossroads on her "widow journey" and is trying to take a step forward, stand on her own two feet and honor her value of family as the upcoming holiday season quickly approaches. Although much has changed for her (for many of us since our husband's passed) it does mean things cannot be exactly the way they once were, but we now have an opportunity to recreate how we most want to create new memories, honor the past and embrace life and the holidays.

As Thanksgiving is next week, it is always to time to share how we are thankful or grateful. For me, being grateful is a great thing to do 365 days a year. Somewhere along the way I have gotten much more engaged in being grateful for my family/friends, what I have, whom I love, my health, my clients etc. and less about what I have lost and how challenging being a single parent can be.

Coach Corner:

• What new memories might you wish to create this holiday season and which activities from the past would you like to continue?
• How can you honor your past, be engaged in the present and embrace your life?
• What are you grateful for? By the way, if this interests you and you personally enjoy writing, you can purchase the Gratitude Journal by Rhonda Byrne from the Secret. It is available at major book stores. I find it to be a great resource!

Here's to you and to a great holiday season.

Warmly,
Colleen

Moments in Time...Genius..Feedback

A warm hello,

There have been many moments in time that I have reflected on that revolve around my late husband and our marriage. If you are a widow reading this, I can confidently say, you more than likely have done the same. Many of these moments in time are a source of warmth, fondness, sometimes sadness and perhaps a myriad of other emotions and remembrances.

Recently, I've recalled a few moments in time (outside of my time with my husband) and how in some ways they have threaded together and have just made me darn curious. Let me preface what I am about to write with this, I am somewhat scared of heights. (It may have something to do with falling out of a high tree fort at a young age:-)

First memory, a proud one to be sure was when I won the 13 and over state springboard diving championship. It was a one meter springboard, so not very high in the air.

Second memory, sophomore year of high school, I took the winter season off from gymnastics to dive with the swim team. Later that year, I was invited to travel with, compete and practice with Brown University's swim and diving team. Brown's pool is a 50 meter pool in one direction, 25 meters in the other and included two 1 meter springboards (obviously my favorite and my "safe" place), two 3 meter springboards (moving into I'm nervous land) and 1 ten meter platform (moving into, OMG, Yicks!!). Our diving coach, Dave would be out on a floating platform in the water, so he could get a good look at our dives and call out feedback, correction, positive reinforcement and call for dives he wanted us to do. Well, the day came when Dave called out for me to go up to the platform and do a very simple dive called a "landing". I remember it like it was yesterday. It was a very long climb up the long ladder, the American Flag was hanging, there were two chairs up on top and it was a very high ten meters. I wanted to go off the platform, but I was terrified...I am not a quitter, but I just couldn't do it. I walked back down and that was it and my diving career was over. My parents were somewhat disappointed as there had been initial conversation regarding a free scholarship to Brown for my college years. An IVY league education would have been awesome! This moment in time, stayed with my for many years.

Third memory was much later in life during my corporate career, within the past ten years. We went to Leadership Challenge and participated in many experiential leadership learning activities. One activity was the "tree course" high up in the sky. Hooks, and cords etc...I was partnered with one of our senior executives and really did not want him to "see me sweat". Not only did I sweat, I was petrified. All of my fears, and my memories of that day at Brown University came flying back. With my partners phenomenal encouragement, praise and his willingness to listen and be there for me I successfully completed the tree and ropes course and finished with an incredible sense of relief, accomplishment and personal fulfillment.

Just because something has held us back before, it doesn't mean we can't move past it at some point and in some new way.

Sometimes it is just our beliefs that get in the way. One belief I have (had) is that I am not very talented when it comes to building things. Case in point. Last night my son and I were making his Lego Star Wars Spaceship and he is really good at it and again I believe (believed) I am not very good. At one moment, Ryan needed my help to find a piece and put it together. When I completed it, he immediately said "Genius", "way to go Mom". Feedback is such a gift, it can really help shift our beliefs, create new experiences, change our behaviors and achieve new and often better results.

Coach Corner:

Where in your life would you (and others) benefit from providing or asking for feedback?

Here's to You.

Warmly,

Colleen

Greetings from Kenya

A warm hello,

I am still amazed at how small our world has become and am excited by all the possibilities it presents. With the Internet, social media and networking (IE. twitter, Facebook, blogging) to name a few, it is easier than ever to reach out and connect with others across the world. I find myself more than ever reading and watching news from other parts of the world (secretly I am a huge BBC fan!) as it always slants a somewhat different perspective on the world and obviously shares more about what is going on outside of this country)

Recently I have been in correspondence with a woman from Kenya by the name of Joyce. I received an email entitled "Greetings From Kenya". Joyce found my website (http://www.coachingforwidows.com/) and has asked to connect. We are speaking this Friday and I am excited and curious to learn more about Kenya and the needs of widows in her country. Since the death of my husband almost 4 1/2 years ago, I am on a mission to help women and widows remove barriers, develop new and empowering strategies for life and business and be all they can be. With our world becoming smaller in some ways, I am grateful for meeting such like minded individuals who are passionate about making a positive difference in our world.

As a reminder, and speaking of like minded individuals, the First National (U.S.) Widowhood Conference (San Diego, CA) is shaking up to become a phenomenal event. You have plenty of time to plan and schedule to attend, if you are interested. I will be one of the presenters and part of a group of phenomenal, powerful and inspired women. Please visit http://www.sslf.org/ for more information. I hope to see you there. I hope to meet women not only from our country but from all over the world. Now, I have a special interest in a special woman from Kenya.

Coach Question:

As you look at your world, what are the possibilities when you broaden the definition of "your world" and expand your opportunities to connect with diverse others? Hmm....

Fitness, Discipline, Barack, Me and You

A Warm Hello,


Today's topic is about fitness, discipline, Barack Obama, Me and You.

In coaching clients, in working with my trainer and in writing this blog, I have touched on and tackled fitness and health. A few things have struck me of late.

1. Barack Obama the morning after the election (with very little sleep) is in the gym getting in a work out. With all on his plate (setting to work assembling his team to name one) is exhibiting discipline and commitment to take care of his fitness and his health.

2. Me and You: well I've been much more consistent with my Pilates and variable on my cardio. I've not completely exhibited the discipline required to achieve my goals. Hmm...so what is that all about? What sabotages me, (maybe you and others as well) and gets in the way? What becomes more important? What excuses are used? What is the ROI or the Return on Investment? What do we really want and what are we willing to do about it?

We each have many things on our plates...Raising children, a career, a business, the household, family/friends, relationships etc etc. Whether it is fitness where we are not achieving our goals or in another area of our life or business where we are not taking actions that support our goals, vision etc. it is a chance to reflect on what is happening, what is not, and what is underneath all of it that is holding us back. What do we want to do about it?

Here is what I am doing. I'm off to Pilates in a few minutes and will schedule in my cardio for tomorrow. Scheduling things in is important. If we don't schedule it, it often doesn't happen.

I've been asked to coach a few moms for Mommy Magazine here in Sarasota, Florida for upcoming fitness issues in '09. We will uncover their challenges and come up with a plan for mom's to follow and we will track their progress. So, it is time for me to walk the talk and follow my fitness plan too. Model the Way, I always say.

What is important for you to "Model the Way" with in your life? What committment and discipline needs to be there? Why is this important to you and what will it mean and represent for you?

We each have the same 24 hours in a day. What we do with it, is up to each of us. Make each day count.

Here's to you.

Warmly,

Colleen

Election Day

A warm hello,

Here in the U.S. today is Election Day. A day to vote and make personal decisions and choices on which candidates and party we each believe best suited to lead our country. If you live in the U.S. I hope you get out and vote. I voted this morning and contrary to the word on the street, there were no lines where I live. So, if you can, get out and vote.

This photo above makes me think about "what are all the possibilities"? It is a peaceful and beautiful photo and in these trying times, I choose to think about and consider what are all of the powerful and positive possibilities that are just around the corner. It makes for a engaging mindset and a healthy way to look at the world.

It seems that many of us are ready for a change here in the U.S. What are the changes you most want to happen? What are some changes you most want to make personally in your life and your work? What are the possibilities?

Here's to change and to here's to you.

Warmly,

Colleen

Winning Is Not Everything

A warm hello,

What an action packed weekend we have had. Halloween, soccer and one of my dear girl friends visiting from Maryland. So much going on and now a moment or two to slow down and take it all in.

Here is a picture of my son at his game Saturday. It is his third year playing soccer and up until this year he has been a "scoring machine" and has won every game. This year, hmm, not so much. His team has not won a game and try as he might (he's almost gotten a bunch of goals) he has not gotten one goal in and he has become a bit disappointed. So, my son and I had a good conversation on the "after the game" ride home. I listened to his frustrations, told him how proud I was of his teamwork and how well he played (he just missed 5 goals during this game) and asked some questions about what he was learning, what fun he was having and as well about the challenges of not winning. As great as it is to win (I am competitive too in sports...) it is not everything.

I've been reading Randy Pausch's "The Last Lecture". Many of you may be familiar with this inspirational man, father, husband and professor who passed away recently from Pancreatic Cancer. His Last Lecture at Carnegie Mellon is all over U Tube and his book is a best seller. What a brilliant, compassionate man and teacher. His book is terrific and I recommend it highly. In the chapter entitled "I never made it to the NFL" Randy talks about one of his dreams (making it to the NFL) and although he achieved many of the dreams he envisioned, this one was not to be. As he writes, "When we send our kids to play organized sports--football, soccer, swimming, whatever--for most of us, it's not because we're desperate for them to learn the intricacies of the sport. What we really want them to learn is far more important: teamwork, perseverance, sportsmanship, the value of hard work, an ability to deal with adversity."

As important as it is for each of us to dream big for ourselves and our children it is also important to learn from the "journey" the value we get along the way.

I've often said this following statement, "We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand". This statement is also on the inside cover and stated by Randy Pausch, The Last Lecture".

Coach Corner:
Based on the hand you have been dealt, how are you playing your hand? The word "playing" is really important. Just as my son "plays" soccer (and has moments of frustration) we as widows are living a life, but how much do we play? What would it be like to have more "play" in your life? For me that is playing with my son, spending fun time with friends, playing tennis, walking, listening to music, dancing, and hmmmm...starting to date again. What would add more play to your life and support you in playing the best cards you've been dealt?

Here's to you.

Warmly,
Colleen

What is it all for?

A Warm Hello,

Above is a picture of my 7 year old Ryan. This was taken soon after he lost his front tooth. He was "oh so proud"!

The title of today's blog is "What is it all for?". I'm taking a few moments this Sunday to take stock in what has significantly changed since I left my secure but time intensive corporate career and I started my own business. There is much that has changed, and some things I miss such as my colleagues and my healthy paycheck.

The biggest change is for the past two years I have been able to take my son to school, be home for him when he gets home, and be available to take him to all his soccer practices and games. We have been able to develop a consistency he very much needed. My son is extremely energetic and is challenged at school to focus and exhibit self control. Each year he improves and we just received his first quarter report card with all A's and one B. His behavior continues to improve (he just likes to talk--gee I wonder where he gets that...). Bottom line, what was most important to me was to create a life that supported my son not just financially but in all the other ways that are so important. In my life, this is what it is all for.

What is it all for, for you? Are you on the right road and following both your head and your heart? This week, give this some thought. I remember, early on after Rory died, I didn't know, I was sad, scared, unfocused and stuck. If you are early on in your journey after losing your husband, know those feelings diminish eventually and you will be back in the drivers seat.

Here's to you.

Warmly,
Colleen

Law of Attraction & Visualization

A Warm Hello,

A while back, I wrote about the Secret (the book and the movie) and the Law of Attraction. I am a big believer in "Thoughts Become Things". When we know very clearly our purpose, what is important, how we can add value and what we want, all things are possible if we take action.

As a widow, no matter where you are on your journey, the power of this can support and guide you forward, in your personal and your professional life.

Yesterday, was a big day for me. It required me to stretch (which is a good thing) and when you stretch yourself that means getting out of your comfort zone and it can feel uncomfortable, to say the least, at first. This is where we grow, build confidence and continue to build new skills. So, back to yesterday...I did my first big keynote address at a beautiful 5 star hotel in St. Petersburg, FL. for 150 people. WOW!! I normally do workshops / training classes for 20-40. This was a big event at a national conference with a big stage, camera's, big screens and very "ta da". I had to come on stage through double doors backlit so it showed my reflection before entering. (it felt like I was going on Jay Leno or something). So, it was a big stretch for me! I used the Law of Attraction and visualized me doing a great job, teaching great new leadership information, making them laugh and connecting. Thoughts become things. It went great, and I grew skills and built confidence. An example of overcoming another challenge.

We each have areas in our lives to stretch and grow personally and professionally. They can be small, big or in between. Being a widow is just one part of us, we must honor and work through it and we must stretch, grow and be all we can be for ourselves, our family/friends, our community and our world.

If you have not checked out the Secret, it is a great reference and framework to guide the journey.

Coach Corner:

Pick something important you want but really causes you to stretch (get out of your comfort zone). Now, what thoughts are you thinking? Are they the thoughts that will create what you want? Once you create powerful thoughts, really visualize and feel what is there and what steps can you take? What do you want the outcome to be?

Warmly,

Colleen

FLY

A warm hello,

One important thing for me personally and professionally is to inspire others, support and encourage others to "fly". To help others release negative beliefs, find affirming positive beliefs and take action to move forward. I am always looking for ways to do just this (coaching, conducting seminars/workshops, even writing this blog and striving to find rich content for the website.)

Today I am sharing a very personal, meaningful and powerful poem. I hope in some small way you get something from it. It is entitled "Fly" and was written for me by some work colleagues right after my husband passed. It is as powerful today as it was almost 4 1/2 years ago. The message is to FLY and it is my hope that each of us learn to fly and live a full life.

FLY

To Colleen my beloved wife, my soul mate and my joy, you must know that I will always love you and Ryan my Baby boy.

Don't cry a river of tears for me, I don't want you to cry a sea, Pick up that love child that we made and love him a lot for me.

Show Ryan that you don't have to be sad, tell him this from me his Dad, tell him to go out and run, laugh, play and have fun.

I'll be watching over you, and I will be expecting that familiar smile shape your face real soon, you can start now, don't wait until noon.

Each morning when you rise, I'll watch you get up as you wipe away the sleep from your and our baby's eyes.

Each night while you are asleep in your beds, I will blow down a kiss that will fall gently upon your heads.

When all of those precious memories start to fill your head, I want you to remember this one thing I have said.

The love we shared will never pass us by, so for you and for my son hold your heads up high, don't torture you self with questions of why, live your lives to the fullest be free...I want you to Fly.

From Region #46 LensCrafters

Can Do - Family & Friends

A warm hello,

In these times when many of us are unsure or scared for various reasons (ie. the economy, the housing crisis, the death of our spouses, creating a "new normal") it is so important that we continue to focus on what can we "Can Do" and how we "Can Be". I know it can be difficult at times to focus on what is possible instead of focusing on the challenges of what is, but it is critically important and will serve us well.

I'll be honest, the past couple of days I have had to work a bit harder at this, but I am back to being the best I "can be" and focusing on what "I Can Do".

In life there are moments that put everything back into perspective. One of those moments was when my 36 year old healthy husband was diagnosed with cancer. A wonderful moment was the birth of our son. A tragic moment was when my husband passed. This week a very dear friend of mine was diagnosed with lung cancer. It is a serious situation as it has grown into his heart. I pray for him and love him. This is another moment that puts it all into perspective and has us ask ourselves, what is "really" most important.

So, it is my hope that you all are taking stock in your health and taking appropriate positive steps as we discussed a few blogs ago. (view back to refresh) Also, it is always a great time to reach out to our family and friends. Stay connected. Perhaps there is someone you haven't spoken to for some time or a relationship to repair. Perhaps it is just making some "girl time" with your friends. These relationships are powerful and support us during good times and challenges times.

Coach Corner:

What family or friend relationship can you reach out to this week?

Here's to your family and friends.

Cheers,

Colleen

Can Do - Your Money

A Warm Hello,

It seems everyone I speak with is concerned about their money, investments and the economy. (okay, me too). Sticking with the messages over the past few blogs...Don't Panic, Focus on Can Do, today we will look at a few things we can control and influence regarding our money. It is possible during challenging times to find new and creative ways to move ahead and move forward. It is even possible to make tremendous strides and experience great improvements.

First, take stock of your personal situation. Ask yourself all the typical questions. Some of which might include, what is my debt/income ratio, what are my assets/liabilities, what are the contents of my portfolio, where do I want to continue or change in investing, what are my fixed costs/variable costs? What else can I do? Who can I meet with to help? What resources are available?

I've been in contact with both my financial planner, accountant and have reviewed my budget. You? I've made some decisions on what is still important "no matter what" about where I put my money and new ways in which I can continue generating income. A couple of years ago I made the personal decision to hire a coach and it required me to make some changes in how I lived my life and spent my money in order to pay for the coach. For me, it was worth it. For you, it will be personal on how you choose to invest, choose to save and choose to think and feel. The key is to have a clear head and focus on "Can Do". I know a colleague or two who are doing better than ever and are focused on "Can Do".

There are so many resources out there. Here are just a couple.
Here is one if you are more "newly widowed".
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2003/08/13/earlyshow/living/money/main568117.shtml
General Free Financial Advice.
http://www.free-financial-advice.net

Warmly,
Colleen

Can Do - Your Personal Development

Hello All,

Today we will continue with the mindset, "Don't Panic, Focus on "Can Do",
We will explore "Your Personal Development" another important part of lives and careers.

Personal Development is all about personal growth. It can build our competence (skills) and build our commitment (motivation and confidence). For us widows, building a new normal, may require or suggest we point some of our attention to our personal development.

After my husband passed, and finding myself a single mom to a 3 year old, I continued to work long hours at my corporate leadership career of 19 years, but often found myself depleted. (Too much required of me, not enough personal time for my son or for my self-care.) In order to make a career change, start my own business, do what I love and have autonomy, I needed to invest in my personal / professional development. I went back to school and achieved my professional coach credentials. Now, it seems everyday there is some aspect of personal development occurring. For example, learning about building websites, branding, blogging, SEO, Social Networking, fixing a door, making DIY (do it yourself) home improvements to name just a few. With each thing I accomplish it really helps build my skills and my motivation and confidence. I will use blogging as a very specific example. Last year an executive coach colleague suggested I start a blog. My response, was "A what?" Now, I am beginning to get the hang of it and was thrilled to have WE magazine for women include this blog in their 101 women bloggers to watch 2008. http://wemagazineforwomen.com/101-women-bloggers-to-watch-fall-2008/. Imagine that! I continuously remind myself of what I Can Do, what I can influence and have a low focus (stay informed, not inundated) on what I can't control.

What personal development would make a positive difference in your life or career? It could be as simple as taking a class at Home Depot and learning to do something around the house. Learning a new language. Improving your understanding of financing and investments. It could be as big as getting that advanced degree.

What personal development would make a positive difference in your life or career? How would you feel when you accomplish it?

Learn something new everyday. You Can Do.

Warmly,
Colleen
http://www.coachingforwidows.com/

Can Do - Your Health

Can Do,

Yesterday, I wrote about "Don't Panic", Focus on "Can Do".

Today, let's take that a step further and look at what you "CAN DO" in one major area of your life, health. Recently, I participated in a seminar, specifically for widows. It was not about the grief process of the journey, but rather the moving forward part of the journey. Which as you know is where I typically focus my energy and my coaching. A main topic (among others) was the importance of becoming healthier, fear of disease, getting older and just not feeling so energetic or attractive. It has often been said, "having your health is the most important thing".

So, let's get started. What is CAN DO for you?

First, take inventory and assess your personal health and fitness situation. How are you sleeping? Have you attended to timely doctor/dentists appointments? What is your fitness level? What exercise might you enjoy and in what setting? How is your diet?

Second, what one or two things can you do to improve your health, well being and energy level? By doing these one or two things, what will it mean to you and your life?

Here's to your health. You "CAN DO"

Warmly,

Colleen

Don't Panic - Focus on "Can Do"

A Warm Hello,

Here in the U.S. and abroad many of the headlines are disturbing to say the least. With stocks plunging, fingers pointing and a financial crisis unfolding it is a challenging time. Yes, yes and yes. Many I speak with and meet with are concerned, some are scared. As a widow, you may have additional concerns and fears.

Here is what I want to say. Don't Panic. Focus on "Can Do". In today's fast paced world and overload of information it is easier than ever to become inundated. There is a huge difference between being informed and inundated. It is critical to be informed, and it is my belief that if we become inundated and focus on what we cannot control or influence we become paralyzed and overwhelmed.

I have a friend who is so inundated, he counts up the number of foreclosures in the paper, and after that if he doesn't feel scared or bad enough he gets a different paper and counts the number of foreclosures again.

So, here is what I suggest. Put everything in 3 buckets.

Bucket #1: What can you control?

Bucket #2: What can you influence?

Bucket #3: What is outside of your control?

Focus, make sound decisions and take action on buckets #1 and #2. Have a low level focus on bucket #3 to stay informed, but not inundated.

I believe in times of adversity, great things are possible. We each have the opportunity to stand up and lead by example. We each are strong, resilient, hopeful and persevering.

Focus on "Can Do" and see what happens. You might be pleasantly surprised how it helps!

Warmly,

Colleen

Dating and Relationships

Dear fellow widows,

Dating and relationships (in general) eventually come up as a major topic for women and widows alike. Many widows at some point find themselves wanting companionship and in some cases a relationship and potentially remarriage. Now this might not be for everyone, but in some to many cases along the journey it seems to fit and be a choice.

As widows we know a lot about life. We've seen life taken and we've experienced great joys and great sadness. We also know what it is like to love. We have great capacity to love ourselves, our family/friends and if/when it is right dating and perhaps even a serious relationship.

It all depends on what we each want. As we are all wonderful and diverse women we all want different things and at different times.

Now, my grandmother had NO desire to date again once my grandfather passed. My grandmother Cecilia had many opportunities to date again, however, she was very clear that is not what she wanted. She was funny and would say things such as "are you alright"? "I do not intend to do any other man's laundry."

Many widow clients I have coached have expressed a desire to date and have done so. It is an interesting dating world out there as some of you may have experienced. I have also spoken with many widows who are happily remarried. Depending where you personally are on your journey after losing your husband that may be something you yearn for or it may be something you cannot even fathom or get your head around. One remarried widow I spoke with told me that never in a million years would she have thought she would remarry, but here she was, moving on with her life with tremendous grace, strenth and happiness!

I've only dated one man since my husband passed. He is a wonderful person and we began a relationship. Although the relationship did not continue to grow, the gift in all of it is knowing the capacity to date, be in a relationship and love again is there for each of us, if it is something we indeed want.

A few months ago, I met a "dating expert" writer. Perhaps I'll interview her and provide tips for "widows dating"...Would that interest you? Let me know.

Coach Corner:

What is it you want now and in the future as it relates to a significant other? What are the qualities and values that must be present? When you are ready, start getting very clear about what is most important to you in a potential mate. What would it be like to just date? If you are already dating or in a new relationship, what would make it be that much more phenomenal?

Warmly,

Colleen

Embrace Life and my Sisters (& Brothers) in Widowhood

The place: Chicago & Bloomington Illinois 8/24/08-8/26/08
The event: Embrace Life Awards, State Farm ®

The honorees: 13 women & men, who have lost a spouse or parent, have persevered and inspired others. These stories shared how life insurance enabled and helped people Embrace Life or lack of adequate Life Insurance further challenged people and how they moved forward, are doing meaningful work and gave back to their families and community.

Objective: Visit http://www.sfembracelifeawards.com/ to read about the program and the honorees stories. The 2009 nomination process is open, so if you or someone you know should be nominated you have the opportunity to do so now and for the next months to come.

Coach Corner: One coaching exercise I use with my clients is called the “wheel of life”, and we look at our level of satisfaction with the 8 major components of our lives. Financial/money is one of the 8 components. One question I ask clients is “how are you protecting your family, your children in case something happens to you? How comfortable and satisfied are you that those you love will be able to Embrace Life with the help of financial security if we also have an untimely death? This can be a difficult concept or discussion to have for some, but it is a critically important one to have. I was fortunate to have some life insurance proceeds after my husband’s death and it enabled me to have some freedom to make major changes in life, reinvest in advanced education, leave my corporate leadership position and begin a coaching business. I am grateful to my husband for providing some life insurance and can also tell you that a more adequate amount would have made it easier for me and my son. The lesson is to have life insurance and have an adequate amount to care for your loved ones. It was surprising to learn that about 1/3 of all Americans have little to no life insurance. One commitment I made recently was to increase and secure additional life protection (insurance) for my son. As you look at the financial/money aspect of your life, please include life insurance in your planning.

I want to thank State Farm ® for an amazing honor and experience and express how honored I felt to meet and be in the company of the honorees. Every honoree was powerful, compassionate, passionate and living “with purpose”. All have taken steps to “pay it forward” and do amazing and inspired work. (A special and personal thank you to Carole for the “socks” and to Wanda for your hospitality- you are two of my Sisters in Widowhood.)

As widows, we know more than many about life and about death. Let’s make sure we Embrace Life and protect those we love.
Warmly,
Colleen

National Widowhood Conference

Hello to all fellow widows,

There is an upcoming (first ever) National Widowhood Conference in the U.S. occurring in San Diego, California July 17-July 19, 2009. Go to http://www.widow-speak.org/ for more information.

It should be an inspiring conference. I hope you can attend.

We each have an opportunity to share, learn, laugh and pay it forward. To pave a new way for widowhood here in the U.S. and make the path of widowhood more understood and more manageable for those who follow in our footsteps.

There will be informational and inspiring presentations (I will be presenting too!), great meals, events and capped off with a 5k walk/run.

I will pass along more information as it becomes available.

Mark your calendars.

Warmly,

Colleen

Mamma Mia--Here I go again

Hello All,

Have you seen the play or the movie "Mamma Mia"?

Today, I stole a bit of time to have a date with myself. I went see the movie "Mamma Mia". As you probably know, the movie is based around songs from the band, ABBA. I just love their music, it is whimsical, fun and even sometimes poignant.

Our son was born to ABBA music. We had it playing in the background and it was very happy music for the most joyful of events.

About 2 1/2 years later, my husband Rory took me to see "Mamma Mia" on Broadway for my 40th birthday. It was near Christmas time and the city was decorated for the season. It was beautiful. Rory was having some difficulty walking around the city. His breathing and energy by this time (5 months before he passed) was diminishing. It is such a wonderful happy memory and also a sad one remembering his health failing.

So, today...Mamma Mia, Here we go again...Another great ABBA experience. I laughed a good deal, enjoyed the movie and music. Also, I missed Rory a great deal. Years ago I may not have gone to a movie by myself (on a date with just me), but today it is fun to go with just me. I've learned to not let many things stand in my way or hang me up.

What if anything would you like to do, that you may be resisting? What would it be like to stretch, grow? To get a bit out of your comfort zone...You might be amazed at what you can be and what you can do.

Warmly,
Colleen

Wedding Rings

Hello to all,

As with "oh so many other things", deciding what to do with our wedding rings and when is up to each one of us. This may or it may not be a big decision point for you. If this topic interests you, read on.

Decision point 1: How long do I wear my wedding ring?

Answer: That is up to you.

After my husband passed away, I read a "widow book" and the author stated that a widow is no longer married and taking the ring off within the year was most appropriate. I remember that really bothered me at the time for although I was widowed for several months I still felt married and the thought of taking off my wedding ring just felt wrong.

At the one year mark, I was ready and lovingly placed my rings along with my husbands in a special place.

Decision point 2: What should you do with your wedding ring? Should you save for a child, make into a pendent, do nothing.

Answer: I think you know already...It is up to you.

As you continue on your personal life journey, rediscovering yourself, making new choices and feeling more and more empowered these answers and many many others will be clearer to you.

Now after 4 years, I have found a special friend (who is also a spectacular jewelry designer and understands how important this is to me) and she is lovingly creating a beautiful pendent with my wedding diamond. I look forward to wearing it again.

What feels right for you?

Warmly,

Colleen

www.CoachingForWidows.com

Women in Business and Grief

Hello All,

In today's world, the desire for many women, is the idealism of balancing career and family. The yearning to find what works and to change what doesn't work. It is about creating strategies and learning to move and adapt to constant changes both in work and at home. With corporate downsizing, acquisitions, and rising prices at the gas pump (to name just a few) many are looking for ways to work smarter, be more effective and find the precious quality time for children's soccer games, recitals etc.

Under everyday circumstances, it can be exciting and challenging for women to juggle a business or corporate career while raising children and/or participating in elder care. When the death of a spouse occurs, it can most certainly blow the "normal" challenges "out the window" and blow in new, different and many times devastating challenges at first. I say "at first" because it is true for so many. Over time, with getting help and creating new strategies for life and business every women I believe can move forward, create meaningful change, adapt and grow.

There are articles and resources on my website http://www.coachingforwidows.com/ that can help. In addition, I offer one on one coaching where we forge a coaching relationship designed to support you as you discover your path for success in both business and in your life.

Warmly,

Colleen

Widows Bond

Hello to all,

On my website http://www.coachingforwidows.com/,

there are many widow referral resources (websites, books etc.). One of the websites is http://www.widow-speak.org/. On this site, there is a link http://www.widowsbond.com/ where you (as widows) can sign up to receive an email with contact information for up to three women whose current situation is very similar to yours. The hope is that you develop an empathetic companionship with one or more of these widows as you each journey through the loss of your husbands.

As I have shared on past blogs and during coaching sessions with my clients I recommend having support and help come from a variety of sources. (friends, both widowed and non-widowed, family, colleagues, church, coach etc.)

Yes, I too have "signed up" at http://www.widowsbond.com/ to meet my new widow friends and look forward to sharing experiences. Even after 4 years (since my loss) and even though I am a coach, this sounds like an extraordinary opportunity. Every day is a new day to make new friendships, share, learn, grow and laugh. Every day we also have the opportunity to continue to build and rekindle old friendships. The picture at the beginning of this blog entry is one sent to me from an old friend. We were in 8th grade. Old friends and new friends...

Happy Bonding.

Warmly,

Colleen

I'll Be in the Car - One Woman's Story of Love, Loss and Reclaiming Life

Hello to All,

A mutual colleague recently connected me with author Annette Januzzi Wick. Our mutual friend thought we had stories to share and a connection to be made. She was right!

Recently, I had the great opportunity to speak personally with Annette, purchase and read her book, I'll Be in the Car. I'll Be in the Car is a personal story reflecting Annette's experience. It is not a book about death and grieving; it is a love story about life and living and finding the will to go on when you believe your reasons for living have died.

This inspiring story traces Annette's brave adventure into the dark valley of despair and back again to the warm sunshine of hope. Told in the voice of a poet, I'll Be in the Car is, ultimately, a story of joy and triumph.

As widows, we each have the opportunity to create our own personal story of joy and triumph. As a coach, my quest is to help my clients become really clear about what they want, take action and move forward. Visit http://www.coachingforwidows.com/ for more...

This book may provide you with some inspiration. I'll Be in the Car, by Annette Januzzi Wick. http://www.illbeinthecar.com/

Thanks to Annette for sharing her story of Love, Loss and Reclaiming Life.

Warmly,
Colleen
http://www.coachingforwidows.com/

Anniversaries and Birthday

Hello to All,

I write this particular blog from a difficult place, mindset and sadness if you will. If you have been reading my past blogs, you will know, as a coach and as a widow, I strive to be with "all of life's ups and downs", striving to give and find the inspiration and ask the questions to help us all grow and move forward. Today (this entire week actually) is a rough one, and there have been rough one's before and perhaps rough one's ahead.

Hopefully, this blog will be helpful to you on your personal life journey.

I will preface it all with a question. What are the gifts?

Yesterday was the 4 year anniversary of my husband Rory's death. Today would have been our 14 year wedding anniversary and in 2 days it would have been Rory's birthday. As you can imagine, it is quite a bit of anniversaries in a 4 day span.

This past weekend we had some of our dearest friends visit and it was fantastic. We had lots of laughs and shared great memories of Rory. We placed flowers in remembrance yesterday and I cried. A bit later in the day, I brought them to the airport, had to say goodbye and guess what...I cried. As I drove home, I cried. The "water works" were going strong. The Beatles CD was playing and the song "Let It Be" came on. A part of the chorus says"Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be, whisper words of wisdom, let it be, let it be. In that moment, it helped me "let it be". My hope and vision is to share words of wisdom and support for other widows. Part of being a coach, I believe, is to walk the talk, to be authentic, to be with the tough stuff, to ask powerful questions and to be grateful for all I have.

So, I will leave you all with the question, "what are the gifts"?
What are your gifts? What can help lift you up, especially in difficult times?

Warmly,
Colleen

Tigger and Things

Hello to All,

You will see and read on my website's Home page at www.CoachingForWidows.com, "A Journey of Self Discovery". I would like to stress and spend some time on the notion and term of "Journey".
From the Dictionary:
1. a traveling from one place to another, usually taking a rather long time
2. a passage or progress from one stage to another

Why is Colleen digging into this term "journey" you may be asking yourself? How does this impact me as the reader of this blog?

Well, I want to put this concept out there to all of you. The concept is, I want for you to know that moving through grief, moving on in life, growing, evolving etc. all of it is a journey. Within this journey there are ups and downs. Now, I am certain you may be thinking, well I know that and you may be thinking that you have had your personal ups and downs as well. What is interesting is how little things or particular dates on the calendar can really trigger deep emotions unexpectedly. Everything can be going smoothly and then, bam...something, someone, some date on the calendar triggers you and you are back in another place and another time. Know that this is okay and natural. Be kind to yourself and give yourself some room and space to feel and be with all of the emotions that come from the "trigger". It is a journey filled with hills, valleys, sunsets and sunrises. Look in the mirror and know that you are growing from your experiences and learning about yourself in the process.

Today I am continuing on my "de-cluttering" process. I cleaned out an old purse and in it was my husbands most favorite pen. It is a black montblanc style pen with Tigger on it. My husband Rory loved Tigger. (Tigger is usually very happy and bouncing...my husband was very Tigger like in life as well.) I also came upon the last Valentine's gift he gave me before he passed. It was a stuffed bear from "Build a Bear" in the Sir Lancelot style and it says outloud "I Love You" when you press a button. These 2 things triggered me, I will confess. I continue to look inward and reflect on all my emotions, even the ones that do not feel so good. It is all about the Journey of Self Discovery.

What are your "Tigger and Things" in your life and what is your Journey to Self Discovery teaching you? What is important to you now?

Warmly,
Colleen

State Farm - Embrace Life Awards

Do know about the Embrace Life Awards? It is given by the StateFarm Insurance Company.

PERSEVERANCE. INSPIRATIONAL. COMMITTED. REMARKABLE. SELFLESS.HOPEFUL.

Do these words describe you or someone you know who has persevered following the death of a spouse or a parent?

Since 2004, Statefarm has honored five women with an Embrace Life Award each year. This year, making the fifth anniversary of the award, a group of 13 men and women,who have lost a spouse or parent will be awarded with $10,000 each and a trip for two to Chicago to the Embrace Life Awards Ceremony on Aug. 25, 2008. To learn more about the Embrace Life Awards program and to read about the previous winners, go to www.SFEmbraceLifeAwards.com.

Warmly,
Colleen
www.CoachingForWidows.com

The Art of Being A Woman Alone

Hello,

Looking for a good read? Here is another book I recommend. It is called "On My Own" The Art of Being A Woman Alone by Florence Falk.

Recently, a fellow widow found my coaching website (http://www.coachingforwidows/) and requested to meet for lunch. We met, found we had much in common and had a most insightful and fun meeting. Again, there is so much support and encouragement when we reach out to those who also "get it" and have walked in our shoes.

She was reading this book, On My Own and highly recommended it. I quickly purchased it and am in process of "the read" which so far is amazing. Here is some information on the book.

To be fully free, every women must learn to be by herself. At some point over the course of the average American woman's life, she will find herself alone, whether she is divorced, widowed, single, or in a loveless, isolating relationship. And when that time comes, it is likely that she will be at a loss as to how to handle it. As a society, we have an unspoken but omnipresent belief that a women alone is an outcast, inherently flawed in some way. In this invigorating, supportive book, psychotherapist Flroence Falk aims to take the fear, doubt, confusion, and helplessness out of being a woman alone. Falk invites all women to find their own paths toward an authentic self hood, to discover the pleasures and riches of solitude, and to reconnect with others through a new found sense of self-confidence.

Hope you enjoy the book.

Warmly,

Colleen

www.CoachingForWidows.com

4 Year Anniversary

Hello to all,

If you are a widow, how long has it been for you since you lost your spouse?

I am coming up on 4 years this May, 27th. It is so very hard to believe! On one hand it feels like moments ago and on the other, a lifetime. I still remember uncontrollably shaking and breaking down at the hospital when he passed. I remember walking into his memorial service and the overwhelm of it all, which took me in completely for a few moments, before I was able to continue to honor his life with our family, friends and co-workers.

One of my dear clients, whose husband passed away 3 days after my Rory, asked me what I was doing and how I planned to "be" in preparing for and experiencing this upcoming anniversary. It seems as if it were yesterday that she and I were discussing and coaching around her 3 year anniversary. That is how the past year even has totally flown!

I've spent about a week, thinking about the anniversary and giving myself time to reflect and feel all the range of emotions (I know you know what I am talking about...) and begin to plan "how I want to be" leading up to and on May 27th and "what I want to do on that day".

If/when you are coming up on an anniversary, what will serve you best?

Warmly,

Colleen

www.CoachingForWidows.com