Milestones

A warm hello,

We each have experienced "milestones" in our lives/careers, milestones we may be currently experiencing and milestones we have yet to experience. Every milestone is unique to each woman. In addition, and in a general sense there may be milestones that we may share.

Milestones are "markers" of sort. A marriage, the birth of a child, a graduation, a promotion, a demotion or downsizing, a new business, overcoming a big fear, and yes of course illness or death of a loved one. Life is full of milestones, isn't it?

What are some milestones you've experienced? How do you hold those memories, what are you more aware of and what have they taught you?

Some milestones are HUGE! Others are rites of passage, and still a big deal and meaningful. What are some of the milestones you are experiencing now in your life? Again, what are you learning and becoming more aware of? What is important and meaningful to you? How do you choose to honor that?

My son turned 8 years old today. It is hard to believe! He is moving from little boy to a bigger version of a little boy. He's growing up and getting so much taller. Today feels to me like a milestone. He's lived longer now without his daddy than with him. It is almost 5 years now. Another milestone.

Here is a milestone and something important I've learned in my personal journey of life (as a woman, widow, mother, coach, business owner, daughter, friend and significant other.) I've learned to move from "acceptance" to, as Byron Katie of "The Work" so eloquently writes it, "To Love What Is." It really is a powerful shift! I've gotten to a place after much work to "Love What Is". This has paved the road for me to become more comfortable in my own skin, become a better mother, a better coach and to be open for a new love in my life. This is a very big milestone. After Rory died and for years to follow, I wasn't ready for a significant other because I had to work on me first. I'm glad I did and am so grateful to "Love What Is" and to have an amazing love and significant other in my life now.

I've always said, rediscovering ourselves after the loss of our husbands no matter the circumstances, no matter the relationship we had, is a journey. May your journey bring you to a destination that you too can "Love What Is".

Coach Corner:

If you could move from acceptance to "Loving What Is" in your life, what would that be like? How would you feel? What is now possible?

Here's to You.

Warmly,

Colleen

Visit http://www.coachingforwidows.com/ for a sample coaching session and widow and transition resources.

Time Is On Our Side

A warm hello,

Time Is On Our Side.

I am thinking about all the many thoughts, sayings and songs on "time"out there...For example, there is an old Rolling Stones song entitled, "Time Is On Our Side". Also, I am certain each one of us have heard many references such as, "time heals wounds". As a widow, we've probably been inundated with well meaning friends and family members touting how time will help. They may says things such as "over time things will get better, over time we'll figure things out, how over time we may love again, how over time we'll learn to become a good single parent, how over time we'll become more productive at work, how over time we will actually become unstuck, regain focus and build a new life that actually works and works well."

The magic key to all of this is, how do we use our time? What do we learn? What do we change? What remains? What is important now? This is a learning process, a journey. We must be active participants in our usage of "time".

People say things such as "I don't have enough time, it takes too much time, if only I had more time". What are they really saying here? What do you think?

Well, we all have the same 24 hours in each day. It is what we choose to do with it. How we choose to spend our time, how we choose to grow and develop, how we choose to be actively engaged in the grieving process so we may move through it. Time alone helps, but we must show up and be active participants.

When we first lose our husbands, we are in survival mode, getting through a day at a time or even an hour or moment at a time. That may be the best we can do, and it is okay. However, over time, we each have the opportunity to fully engage in stepping into a new and potentially rewarding life full of things such as career, financial improvement, health, loving relationships and a deeper sense of our own abilities. To become more comfortable in our own skin even now that we've been widowed.

Time is truly on our side.

Today, I came across a poem of sorts I wrote 3 years ago about my husband. It was still laden with much pain, loss and loneliness. So, now these 3 years later, time has helped and importantly I have actively participated, showed up, got help, worked with a coach, learned about how I wanted to be for the rest of my life. I hope the same for each one of you. I hope you use your time to engage in your life, to learn, to grow, to heal, to love, to rediscover yourselves.

Working with a coach can absolutely help. Actively participating in support groups can help. There are many options available to you. Find what best supports you!

Coach Question: How can you actively make the best use of your time? What awaits you that you may begin to put into motion now?

Here's to you!

Warmly,
Colleen
www.CoachingForWidows.com Visit for more information and resources.

Believing You Can

A warm hello,

I have been having coaching conversations with women regarding their beliefs. Beliefs in themselves, beliefs that they have or do not have the ability to change, to grow, to persevere. Do they believe they can step forward, put the pieces of their lives back together in new and powerful ways?

What we believe is paramount. It either supports us taking powerful actions or it limits us. What beliefs do you hold? Which ones support you and which ones limit you. Take stock. Keep what works and clean out those which do not.

Here is a little story. Believing You Can
A young man fell asleep during math class. He woke up as the bell rang, looked at the blackboard, and copied down the two problems that were there. He assumed they were the homework for the night. He went home and labored the rest of the afternoon and into the evening knowing if he didn't complete the work he would surely fail the class.
He couldn't figure out either one but he kept trying for the rest of the week. Finally, he got the answer to one and brought it to class. The teacher was absolutely stunned. The boy feared he had done too little, too late. It turned out the problem he solved was supposedly unsolvable.
Power Commanders How did he do it? He was able to do what was thought to be impossible because he believed it was possible. He not only believed it was possible, he believed that if he didn't solve it he would fail the class. Had he known the problem was unsolvable he could never have done it.
Beliefs are the commanders of our brain.When we believe something is true, we literally go into the state of its being true. Handled effectively, beliefs can be the most powerful forces for creating good in our lives.
The Birth of Excellence. Beliefs control our destiny: The belief we have in ourselves...the belief others have in us. The birth of excellence begins with the awareness that our beliefs are a choice.
Beliefs are the compass and map that guide us to our goals. Believe you can do something -OR- believe you can't and you'll be right every time.

Here's to You!

Warmly,

Colleen

http://www.coachingforwidows.com/

Contact for a introductory coaching session