What is it all for?

A Warm Hello,

Above is a picture of my 7 year old Ryan. This was taken soon after he lost his front tooth. He was "oh so proud"!

The title of today's blog is "What is it all for?". I'm taking a few moments this Sunday to take stock in what has significantly changed since I left my secure but time intensive corporate career and I started my own business. There is much that has changed, and some things I miss such as my colleagues and my healthy paycheck.

The biggest change is for the past two years I have been able to take my son to school, be home for him when he gets home, and be available to take him to all his soccer practices and games. We have been able to develop a consistency he very much needed. My son is extremely energetic and is challenged at school to focus and exhibit self control. Each year he improves and we just received his first quarter report card with all A's and one B. His behavior continues to improve (he just likes to talk--gee I wonder where he gets that...). Bottom line, what was most important to me was to create a life that supported my son not just financially but in all the other ways that are so important. In my life, this is what it is all for.

What is it all for, for you? Are you on the right road and following both your head and your heart? This week, give this some thought. I remember, early on after Rory died, I didn't know, I was sad, scared, unfocused and stuck. If you are early on in your journey after losing your husband, know those feelings diminish eventually and you will be back in the drivers seat.

Here's to you.

Warmly,
Colleen

Law of Attraction & Visualization

A Warm Hello,

A while back, I wrote about the Secret (the book and the movie) and the Law of Attraction. I am a big believer in "Thoughts Become Things". When we know very clearly our purpose, what is important, how we can add value and what we want, all things are possible if we take action.

As a widow, no matter where you are on your journey, the power of this can support and guide you forward, in your personal and your professional life.

Yesterday, was a big day for me. It required me to stretch (which is a good thing) and when you stretch yourself that means getting out of your comfort zone and it can feel uncomfortable, to say the least, at first. This is where we grow, build confidence and continue to build new skills. So, back to yesterday...I did my first big keynote address at a beautiful 5 star hotel in St. Petersburg, FL. for 150 people. WOW!! I normally do workshops / training classes for 20-40. This was a big event at a national conference with a big stage, camera's, big screens and very "ta da". I had to come on stage through double doors backlit so it showed my reflection before entering. (it felt like I was going on Jay Leno or something). So, it was a big stretch for me! I used the Law of Attraction and visualized me doing a great job, teaching great new leadership information, making them laugh and connecting. Thoughts become things. It went great, and I grew skills and built confidence. An example of overcoming another challenge.

We each have areas in our lives to stretch and grow personally and professionally. They can be small, big or in between. Being a widow is just one part of us, we must honor and work through it and we must stretch, grow and be all we can be for ourselves, our family/friends, our community and our world.

If you have not checked out the Secret, it is a great reference and framework to guide the journey.

Coach Corner:

Pick something important you want but really causes you to stretch (get out of your comfort zone). Now, what thoughts are you thinking? Are they the thoughts that will create what you want? Once you create powerful thoughts, really visualize and feel what is there and what steps can you take? What do you want the outcome to be?

Warmly,

Colleen

FLY

A warm hello,

One important thing for me personally and professionally is to inspire others, support and encourage others to "fly". To help others release negative beliefs, find affirming positive beliefs and take action to move forward. I am always looking for ways to do just this (coaching, conducting seminars/workshops, even writing this blog and striving to find rich content for the website.)

Today I am sharing a very personal, meaningful and powerful poem. I hope in some small way you get something from it. It is entitled "Fly" and was written for me by some work colleagues right after my husband passed. It is as powerful today as it was almost 4 1/2 years ago. The message is to FLY and it is my hope that each of us learn to fly and live a full life.

FLY

To Colleen my beloved wife, my soul mate and my joy, you must know that I will always love you and Ryan my Baby boy.

Don't cry a river of tears for me, I don't want you to cry a sea, Pick up that love child that we made and love him a lot for me.

Show Ryan that you don't have to be sad, tell him this from me his Dad, tell him to go out and run, laugh, play and have fun.

I'll be watching over you, and I will be expecting that familiar smile shape your face real soon, you can start now, don't wait until noon.

Each morning when you rise, I'll watch you get up as you wipe away the sleep from your and our baby's eyes.

Each night while you are asleep in your beds, I will blow down a kiss that will fall gently upon your heads.

When all of those precious memories start to fill your head, I want you to remember this one thing I have said.

The love we shared will never pass us by, so for you and for my son hold your heads up high, don't torture you self with questions of why, live your lives to the fullest be free...I want you to Fly.

From Region #46 LensCrafters

Can Do - Family & Friends

A warm hello,

In these times when many of us are unsure or scared for various reasons (ie. the economy, the housing crisis, the death of our spouses, creating a "new normal") it is so important that we continue to focus on what can we "Can Do" and how we "Can Be". I know it can be difficult at times to focus on what is possible instead of focusing on the challenges of what is, but it is critically important and will serve us well.

I'll be honest, the past couple of days I have had to work a bit harder at this, but I am back to being the best I "can be" and focusing on what "I Can Do".

In life there are moments that put everything back into perspective. One of those moments was when my 36 year old healthy husband was diagnosed with cancer. A wonderful moment was the birth of our son. A tragic moment was when my husband passed. This week a very dear friend of mine was diagnosed with lung cancer. It is a serious situation as it has grown into his heart. I pray for him and love him. This is another moment that puts it all into perspective and has us ask ourselves, what is "really" most important.

So, it is my hope that you all are taking stock in your health and taking appropriate positive steps as we discussed a few blogs ago. (view back to refresh) Also, it is always a great time to reach out to our family and friends. Stay connected. Perhaps there is someone you haven't spoken to for some time or a relationship to repair. Perhaps it is just making some "girl time" with your friends. These relationships are powerful and support us during good times and challenges times.

Coach Corner:

What family or friend relationship can you reach out to this week?

Here's to your family and friends.

Cheers,

Colleen

Can Do - Your Money

A Warm Hello,

It seems everyone I speak with is concerned about their money, investments and the economy. (okay, me too). Sticking with the messages over the past few blogs...Don't Panic, Focus on Can Do, today we will look at a few things we can control and influence regarding our money. It is possible during challenging times to find new and creative ways to move ahead and move forward. It is even possible to make tremendous strides and experience great improvements.

First, take stock of your personal situation. Ask yourself all the typical questions. Some of which might include, what is my debt/income ratio, what are my assets/liabilities, what are the contents of my portfolio, where do I want to continue or change in investing, what are my fixed costs/variable costs? What else can I do? Who can I meet with to help? What resources are available?

I've been in contact with both my financial planner, accountant and have reviewed my budget. You? I've made some decisions on what is still important "no matter what" about where I put my money and new ways in which I can continue generating income. A couple of years ago I made the personal decision to hire a coach and it required me to make some changes in how I lived my life and spent my money in order to pay for the coach. For me, it was worth it. For you, it will be personal on how you choose to invest, choose to save and choose to think and feel. The key is to have a clear head and focus on "Can Do". I know a colleague or two who are doing better than ever and are focused on "Can Do".

There are so many resources out there. Here are just a couple.
Here is one if you are more "newly widowed".
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2003/08/13/earlyshow/living/money/main568117.shtml
General Free Financial Advice.
http://www.free-financial-advice.net

Warmly,
Colleen

Can Do - Your Personal Development

Hello All,

Today we will continue with the mindset, "Don't Panic, Focus on "Can Do",
We will explore "Your Personal Development" another important part of lives and careers.

Personal Development is all about personal growth. It can build our competence (skills) and build our commitment (motivation and confidence). For us widows, building a new normal, may require or suggest we point some of our attention to our personal development.

After my husband passed, and finding myself a single mom to a 3 year old, I continued to work long hours at my corporate leadership career of 19 years, but often found myself depleted. (Too much required of me, not enough personal time for my son or for my self-care.) In order to make a career change, start my own business, do what I love and have autonomy, I needed to invest in my personal / professional development. I went back to school and achieved my professional coach credentials. Now, it seems everyday there is some aspect of personal development occurring. For example, learning about building websites, branding, blogging, SEO, Social Networking, fixing a door, making DIY (do it yourself) home improvements to name just a few. With each thing I accomplish it really helps build my skills and my motivation and confidence. I will use blogging as a very specific example. Last year an executive coach colleague suggested I start a blog. My response, was "A what?" Now, I am beginning to get the hang of it and was thrilled to have WE magazine for women include this blog in their 101 women bloggers to watch 2008. http://wemagazineforwomen.com/101-women-bloggers-to-watch-fall-2008/. Imagine that! I continuously remind myself of what I Can Do, what I can influence and have a low focus (stay informed, not inundated) on what I can't control.

What personal development would make a positive difference in your life or career? It could be as simple as taking a class at Home Depot and learning to do something around the house. Learning a new language. Improving your understanding of financing and investments. It could be as big as getting that advanced degree.

What personal development would make a positive difference in your life or career? How would you feel when you accomplish it?

Learn something new everyday. You Can Do.

Warmly,
Colleen
http://www.coachingforwidows.com/

Can Do - Your Health

Can Do,

Yesterday, I wrote about "Don't Panic", Focus on "Can Do".

Today, let's take that a step further and look at what you "CAN DO" in one major area of your life, health. Recently, I participated in a seminar, specifically for widows. It was not about the grief process of the journey, but rather the moving forward part of the journey. Which as you know is where I typically focus my energy and my coaching. A main topic (among others) was the importance of becoming healthier, fear of disease, getting older and just not feeling so energetic or attractive. It has often been said, "having your health is the most important thing".

So, let's get started. What is CAN DO for you?

First, take inventory and assess your personal health and fitness situation. How are you sleeping? Have you attended to timely doctor/dentists appointments? What is your fitness level? What exercise might you enjoy and in what setting? How is your diet?

Second, what one or two things can you do to improve your health, well being and energy level? By doing these one or two things, what will it mean to you and your life?

Here's to your health. You "CAN DO"

Warmly,

Colleen