My son and me; watching a Daddy DVD

Hello to all, More at www.CoachingForWidows.com


About a year and a half ago I took all of our family VHS tapes and had them made into DVD's. I remember what a huge deal that was. It was still difficult to touch those tapes and then turn them over to a professional to upgrade them, I was afraid. It was a big deal. Those tapes had most of what I thought was left of my husband Rory and I was scared to part with them.

On more than a few occasions I have asked my son if he would like to watch a DVD of himself, his daddy, mommy and friends/family. He has been unsure and has repeatedly said things like, "maybe tomorrow".

Tonight I took "the box" of DVD's and showed him some pictures on the covers and gratefully for us both, he too was ready.

So, watching a DVD of my husband and our life with my now 6 year old was yes, all you imagine. Tears, laughter, pure joy, remembrance in the purest sense, continued grief, and something I am not sure I can even definitively name.

My son laughed. Yes, he laughed. We laughed. There was joy and yes, I cried too (albeit silent tears). My 6 year old asked about the tears, and then said "mommy don't cry" and then he laughed again at something on the DVD. WOW!! The belly laughs he let out watching our lives several years back was, "worth the price of admission!"

Here is what resonates. This experience has changed me profoundly. I would gladly and eagerly give anything and everything I have to have my husband Rory back, and sadly we all know that having our spouse back is just not possible.

In my gut and in my soul I know I will always miss him, and because of or in spite of, I believe I will go on to do good work and help others.

That "belly laugh" is something I really really want to experience again and again. It is powerful. To find a life and work that gives you that "belly laugh" and makes you whole is pretty spectacular or as my husband would say "outstanding". This is what I wish for my son and for you all.

My vision and quest is for us widows to go through our grief and "reach for the brass ring". Reach out, post and share when you are ready.

Let's make something great!

Warmly,

Colleen

First Blog Widows Walk Speak

Hello, More at www.CoachingForWidows.com


It is with a heavy, yet faithful heart and soul, I reach out. This is my first blog. Okay, I'm 43, and blogging is a big deal because it is new to me. Somewhere I got lost between gen x and boomers, and gen y's etc.

So, here's why I am here. My husband Rory (who was my best friend) lost his battle with cancer 3 years ago. He was 39 years old and fought with such grace to stay alive. He so wanted to be in the life of our beloved young son Ryan who was (just few months old when he was diagnosed) and just 3 years old at his passing.

Here is my quest, my vision. I believe widows know more about life and about death than many and I wish to be there to help other young and middle aged widows pick up the pieces and go on to live extraordinary lives.

I left my corporate job over a year ago and became a professional coach. I coach young/middle aged widows find what is most important to them now, and to find their new normal. I am in process of writing a book for widows and deeply want to help and serve others who have been through this experience.

I open this blog up to you all. Those of you have experienced spousal loss and wish to become "unstuck" and "come alive again". Feel free to post your thoughts and reflections. Together we can build a community of not only support but of "going for the brass ring". To live a life of purpose, of meaning, of joy.

Best,


Colleen