Moving...Healing...Changing...Growing

Hello to all in the club. The "widow club" that is. (More at www.CoachingForWidows.com)


Stages 2 and 3.
In stage 2, we are likely to be really immersed in our feelings and deeply connected to one's self. It is at this point we begin to take stock in our values and our beliefs. We continue to question "why" our husband was taken from us.

It was in this stage, I first began with my coach. I'll be honest, I knew I wanted to go through the stages, however, I was scared of really "dealing". I mean, the no holding back kind of dealing. I would ask myself, can I be still? (as in stop running from it (Rory's death) and doing the "busy stuff"). Can I be with this pain? Who am I now? What is important now that my world has tipped on its side? Having a champion, someone who had been there and done that, and someone who would help me find new perspectives (ways of looking at things) was extraordinarily helpful.

Here in stage 2 we contend with our new reality, develop new insights, reconstruct our personal values and beliefs and begin to accept and let go.

If you, fellow widow reading this find yourself in this stage 2 place, how are you doing? What aspects of this stage are you not ready to deal with yet, are working on presently and have completed? Take stock. Connect with your progress, your journey, your new insights. Give yourself a hug!

Stage 3: A time for renewal, acceptance, development of social relations and decisions about changes in lifestyle. We begin to be in the present, as opposed to the past. It was in this stage I could finally talk about my husband without crying (all the time). I felt as if I was driving my car and looking at my surroundings, using my side view mirrors, looking ahead and periodically looking in the rear view mirrow. The big shift for me was, I wasn't always looking in the rear view mirror. I was now living in the present and creating my new normal.

What about you? If you are in this stage...what's possible for you? What do you dream about? What do you want?

About "what do you want"...Do you know how often I used to acknowledge what I didn't want? Here and now I can claim and state what I do want. I wish for you this as well.

Realize there are choices. What are the new chapters you wish to write in your book of life?

I wish for you all happiness, love and health.

Warmly,
Colleen
http://www.coachingforwidows.com/