Stage 1

Dear fellow widows,

It has been a few weeks since my last post. I've been traveling to Texas conducting leadership training for a couple of corporations and it has been keeping me very busy. When I get home, I want to spend the precious time with my son. Even so, this blog has been on my mind. I've been thinking about Stage 1 and remembering...It feels heavy in this Stage 1 place. Stage 1 is a stage (literally) in the grief journey. Working though it and experiencing it (albeit very difficult) is a must.

Here is to all of us on this journey. Remember, to visit the links and resources on my website www.CoachingForWidows.com for additional support.

STAGE 1: Acclimation and Adjustment
Stage 1 is a period of acclimation and adjustment, in which the primary issues faced by the newly bereaved can be broken down into four tasks.
1. Adjusting. You come to accept that your loved one is gone, and you begin making sense of the new set of circumstances n your life.

2. Functioning. It’s a cruel irony that the practicalities of mortgage payments, funeral expenses, insurance claims, hospital bills, disbursing of possessions, or getting back to work hit you at a time when you are least up to facing these issues. But despite your loss, you need to accept that you have a life to lead and must continue to deal with your everyday responsibilities.

3. Keeping in check. The temptation in the face of a tremendous loss is to emotionally shut down or, at the other extreme, to let your emotions and behavior flow unchecked. On of the tasks of Stage 1 is to find a way to manage your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.

4. Accepting support. Often, you don’t have to face your loss alone. Learning to accept the kindness, help, encouragement, and support of the friends, family, and others who populate your life is important.

If you are in stage 1, please reach out and accept support. Get a support team. It really helps. It is too soon, (in stage 1) in my opinion to consider coaching. However, grief counseling, family, friends, church, fellow widows you may know etc. are great options.

If you are in this stage, think about who you can reach out to and what do you need/want?

Warmly,
Colleen