Requested Holiday Advice

A warm hello,

I received an email today from someone I follow on "twitter". http://www.twitter.com/ (a social networking site) and she requested holiday advice as she is feeling the challenge of being alone during the holidays. How many of you can relate to the challenge of being alone during the holidays?

Recently, I struggled with the alone thing as I tried to put up our outdoor Christmas lights (I did the best I could). It will be a more environmentally friendly Christmas this year as I could only do so much; so we will do a good thing for our planet. It can also be somewhat sad as couple friends go to parties, and couples and families do all the holiday planning and celebrating together. It is always important to remember that I (we) are not alone...we may have children, parents and family/friends.

Here are some pieces of advice from my personal experiences as coach, mom and widow.

1. Give yourself a break. Be kind to yourself. Take some "me" time. Today I took some me time that was very much needed and stole some time at the beach. (yes it is December but living in SW Florida it is one of the perks!). What can you do for you? Nurture yourself. If you don't give to yourself, it makes it hard over time to do your best and give to others. If you like to travel, plan a trip (it can be some place close or far away.) The picture above is of Venice, Italy. Italy will be my next European trip.

2. Open yourself up to attending parties or get togethers. Invite friends over. Call people and reconnect. Ask some friends to go out for lunch/dinner or a coffee. If you enjoy the company of others, find those that make you laugh, listen well and care about you and you care about.

3. On the flip side, take in some quiet time. Read a book, or watch a holiday classic that makes you feel good or evokes some emotion that would be healthy for you to experience. Sometimes even a good cry is good.

4. Keep it simple. Find ways to simplify. Make lists. Set some boundaries on what you want to do and can do. This year, I am simplifying more than ever.

5. Exercise, get enough sleep and eat healthy. (well with the holiday's that may be challenging, just do what you can, splurge a bit...and be kind to yourself)

6. If you are thinking about dating, jump in when you are ready. Remember a date is not marriage and can be fun. Actually, it is a mindset of dating vs. a relationship. Start there and have some healthy fun. There are many avenues to explore as there are church groups for singles, speed dating, on line dating sites and of course you can always meet a special someone in the book or grocery store.

7. There are times when looking at old photo albums, watching old home movies, reading cards from my husband help. Well, it hurts and it helps. The other day I was organizing the garage and I have a big box full of cards etc. I read some cards my husband had given me. I cried, I laughed, and I cried some more. All of it was good, even the tears. It is a physical reminder of what we shared and the love we had for one another. If you are in a very emotional state, this is one activity you may want to do at another time.

8. If you have children...enjoy the season with them. Experience the joy of the season through their eyes. Make it special for them and for you, but where you can, remember to keep it simple especially if you are in "overwhelm"

9. If you are spiritual or religious, take in rituals that feed the soul.

10. Smile. Laugh. I know sometimes it can be hard, but it is contagious. It is proven to make you feel better. Go ahead. Smile. Laugh. Are you doing it? Do it again and again.

Happy Holidays.

Warmly,

Colleen

www.CoachingForWidows.com