A warm hello,
Are you a single parent? Recently, I've received emails and calls from women who are widowed single parents. They've stated they are (at times) struggling and are feeling stuck in general. In addition, I've spoken with others that are divorced single parents and they too are having their challenges as well. Bottom line, the underlying theme is how much each woman loves their children and how much each woman wants to find their own best way to raise them. As the holiday season is upon us, it can raise issues and questions.
So, what will make 2009 a banner year for you as a woman and as a mother?
In my coaching practice I work with women (widowed, divorced and some married as well) and in each case we work together to craft strategies and plans to achieve what each client wants most. I remember, when I was first a coaching client, I worked to clearly identify what I most wanted for my son and my role as mom. I created strategies and plans, took action (lots of action) and saw amazing progress along the way. Ask yourself what is important. What you want to start, stop and continue. This is a big deal!
Here are some things I learned:
1. Be consistent (this is huge!)
2. Be there, really be present. When I am with my son, I always block out special time for "play".
3. Get down to their eye level when communicating something of great importance.
4. Listen. Watch. Pay attention. Build on their strengths. (Really) Acknowledge their accomplishments and quickly redirect behavior as appropriate.
5. Get enough sleep. Early on after my husband passed away, I was sleep deprived and it made it very difficult.
6. Get some advice from experts. (books, websites, friends, family)
7. If your child is young, have visuals. (to do's, responsibilities, rewards etc.--make visuals together so they are part of the process and are engaged)
My son is 7 and is out of school today through Jan 6th. At 9:30am this morning he was already saying he was bored and wanted to play with some friends. Oh, that reminds me, I must plan more playdates for him and "play time" for him and me. It is good for him and good for me, otherwise it will be a long holiday break. Juggling it all, and you know what I mean, can be a bit much at times, but with setting a good stage, crafting a good plan and following through on those actions, it will make for a happy mom, happy child and happy holiday season.
Happy Holidays to all!
Warmly,
Colleen
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