A dear friend and a new widow

A warm hello,

I write this today with a heavy heart.

The circle of life. We are born, we live (hopefully to the fullest), and our lives on this earth at some point end. Those we love are born, live and eventually or all too soon pass away.

This morning, one of my dear friends and work partner/colleague passed away from lung cancer. His name was Kim (and a non-smoker). He was an engaging man who laughed a lot and helped those around him laugh as well. He made the world a better place just by being him. Everyone loved Kim, he was just one of those people you couldn't help but love. He had a beautiful wife and two great sons. Kim also used to be my late husbands boss and they had a phenomenal friendship as well.

Kim was there for me when Rory died. He came to my home hours after he passed along with others I am fortunate to have in my life now and at that time. His passing today hurts deeply and brings me back acutely to that day 4 1/2 years ago.

So what to do with all of this? What to write? How to help? How to help his wife, his family and in a broader scope how to help more widows? This is on my mind and in my heart.

As with all new widows, getting through the day and lets face it, getting through minute to minute is what we can do. I will do my best to provide to his widow grief resources and recommendations for initial grief support. I'll be there for her when/if she could benefit from coaching. My heart goes out to her and wish I could wave a magic wand and make it all better.

Unfortunately I can't do that, as much as I wish I could. What I and what each of us can do is to live while we are here the best life we can, be the best role model we can be for our children, rediscover ourselves, be strong, laugh again and give back to others. There will be many more widows and widowers to follow in our footsteps and we each have an opportunity (when we are ready) and far enough along on our grief journey to help and support those who follow.

Here's to my dear friend Kim and wishing for his wife (widow) and family strength and grace during this time and beyond. I know someday soon they'll smile again.

Here is a quote by Sara Paddison I would like to share. "Hope is a higher frequency, and as you begin to re-connect with your heart, hope is waiting to share with you new possibilities and arrest the downward spiral of grief and loneliness. Listening to the still small voice in your heart will make hope into a reality."

Here is to all on the journey of widowhood.

Warmly,
Colleen