Winning Is Not Everything

A warm hello,

What an action packed weekend we have had. Halloween, soccer and one of my dear girl friends visiting from Maryland. So much going on and now a moment or two to slow down and take it all in.

Here is a picture of my son at his game Saturday. It is his third year playing soccer and up until this year he has been a "scoring machine" and has won every game. This year, hmm, not so much. His team has not won a game and try as he might (he's almost gotten a bunch of goals) he has not gotten one goal in and he has become a bit disappointed. So, my son and I had a good conversation on the "after the game" ride home. I listened to his frustrations, told him how proud I was of his teamwork and how well he played (he just missed 5 goals during this game) and asked some questions about what he was learning, what fun he was having and as well about the challenges of not winning. As great as it is to win (I am competitive too in sports...) it is not everything.

I've been reading Randy Pausch's "The Last Lecture". Many of you may be familiar with this inspirational man, father, husband and professor who passed away recently from Pancreatic Cancer. His Last Lecture at Carnegie Mellon is all over U Tube and his book is a best seller. What a brilliant, compassionate man and teacher. His book is terrific and I recommend it highly. In the chapter entitled "I never made it to the NFL" Randy talks about one of his dreams (making it to the NFL) and although he achieved many of the dreams he envisioned, this one was not to be. As he writes, "When we send our kids to play organized sports--football, soccer, swimming, whatever--for most of us, it's not because we're desperate for them to learn the intricacies of the sport. What we really want them to learn is far more important: teamwork, perseverance, sportsmanship, the value of hard work, an ability to deal with adversity."

As important as it is for each of us to dream big for ourselves and our children it is also important to learn from the "journey" the value we get along the way.

I've often said this following statement, "We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand". This statement is also on the inside cover and stated by Randy Pausch, The Last Lecture".

Coach Corner:
Based on the hand you have been dealt, how are you playing your hand? The word "playing" is really important. Just as my son "plays" soccer (and has moments of frustration) we as widows are living a life, but how much do we play? What would it be like to have more "play" in your life? For me that is playing with my son, spending fun time with friends, playing tennis, walking, listening to music, dancing, and hmmmm...starting to date again. What would add more play to your life and support you in playing the best cards you've been dealt?

Here's to you.

Warmly,
Colleen